Imagine the stress of knowing that you are down to the last square of bathroom tissue, toilet tissue, TP, arsewipe…..whatever you want to call it. It is a THING! It’s something that often goes unnoticed and/or hushed, unless you are into ‘to do’ lists or ‘Shelexa, put toilet paper on the list…..(it’s soooo pedestrian!)’. We sometimes get caught with our pants down (literally) and reach for it and it’s NOT THERE! SHIT! Enough said?
Yesterday in the baking furnace of midday heat of 38 degrees, AND after having had a unexpected serious and very traumatic dentist appointment where I was relieved of a crown AND the tooth ( a different post, for sure), I thought I would dash into the local supermarket and get me a shitload of toilet paper…..I was down to my last two rolls…not really the last square! But still, it makes a Virgo/Type A person like me nearly shit my pants!
So imagine having sat in a dentist chair thinking you went in for what was going to be routine check of an old crown and you ended up with an extraction of a molar you really wanted to keep for the rest of your life! Bummer! Lips and jaws frozen and feeling like crap, I forced myself through the lines at Vinmart and got the mega pack of Tiny Tim© (my granddad would call it that), grabbed a taxi whose driver couldn’t make sense of my frozen-lipped bastardized Vietnamese tones essential in getting me directly to my address, and finally made my way home!
Let me share something else that may not come to you as a surprise…..enjoying a plant-based, whole food lifestyle comes with the glory of having about 5 REALLY GOOD dumps a day! Ok…too much information! But it requires having enough Loo Roll to go around…..I guarantee you THAT! So, I ran into the house NEEEEEDDING to head straight to the loo….because you can’t take a crap in a dentist chair! ….and much to my surprise, when I tore open the MONSTER SIZE Costco’ish 365-roll pack of toilet paper, there was
NO HOLE IN THE MIDDLE!!!
That provoked me, Nitasha, to think deeper! To go to the bowels of the issue and form a relationship between ‘Economising and the impact it has on our daily movements’ ….this one’s for you, Julie! 🙂 What are the pros an cons of this discovery? How does it REALLY impact ME? How does it affect the toilet roll dispenser industry? What about the elementary school teachers who routinely fill our mailboxes with requests for toilet rolls? How will they EVER continue life in the Makerspace? It’s a question that Merzanomics should investigate, right Faraz?
That really got me thinking seriously; For instance, WHAT to do with that strange ‘non-Canadian’ toilet roll holder that was in my apartment 5 years ago when I moved in? Must say that I fought using it, but came around quite quickly to learn to love it! Suffice it to say that I spend many of my best moments on the loo, so such accessories are important!
Should toilet designers build in a wider water reservoir cover on the backs of loos to accommodate stacking many rolls or even storing one? Well, putting finger to cheek and thinking deeply, [not THAT cheek!] where ELSE can they be stored? NO HOLE IN THE MIDDLE! Space savers will have a field day in designing new ways to accommodate the NO HOLE IN THE MIDDLE dilemma! Maybe Jesse and Kent could find a solution using a 3-D printer? I’m looking for a serious solution, nothing half-assed! 😉
Finally there will be no need for those (in my opinion) stupid loo roll holders with the part that slams down on the roll and sabotages the free unrolling of multi-squares for that messy clean-up! You know which one I’m talking about! You got it!
I certainly don’t want to appear to be out of line with this ‘tongue-in-cheek’ response to my latest purchase, but I am wondering if I should continue to buy that brand and see how my life changes, or go back to the Tiny Tim© that I have always had in my bathrooms. Is this a concept-based discussion for those we are tired of seeing bumming around the staffroom…something to engage them..to provoke them? Would love to shoot the shit on this one but I REALLLLYYYYYY gotta go now!
thetomryan 